I don't know yet.

I hate this part. On the one hand, I know. On the other hand, I don't know. There are pros and cons to everything and I'm not really sure I'm ready to jump in and swim at this point. Is that bad? Is there something wrong with me? I feel almost... I don't know what the word for it is so I guess I won't try.

See, on the one hand, this could be great. I'm happier. But what are my motives? Are they completely pure (what are my reasons?), or is there more to it? Would I be making this decision based on these motives or because of what is in my heart?

On the other hand, it's nice to be where I am right now. It's easy. Less complicated. More opportunities. But am I just taking the easy way out and hiding what I really think and feel?

If this is supposed to be one of the most important decisions you'll ever make, then I guess it follows to say that everything leading up to it is important as well. But I don't really understand why it has to be so complicated, with so much behind it. With so much drama surrounding it. And especially I don't understand why my thoughts have to be so consumed with it. I've got bigger metaphorical fish to fry, other important things to deal with. Hmm. Like school, for one. With finals coming up, this is a not-so-great time to be worrying about this.

- - -

LATER

- - -

I think I've come to a conclusion. Honesty is the best policy, anyway, right? (two points, please... thanks) Just be candid, that's all anyone can expect of you. I'm actually still not sure, but if I can be honest, then things will work out. They always seem to.

- - -

if that were me - melanie c

Where do they go and what do they do?
They're walking on by. They're looking at you.
Some people stop, some people stare.
But would they help you and do they care?

How did you fall? Did you fall at all?
Are you happy when you are, sleeping underneath the stars?
When it's cold is it your hope that keeps you warm?

A spare bit of change is all that I give.
How is that gonna help when you've got nowhere to live?
Some turn away so they don't see.
I bet you'd look if that were me.

How did you fall? Did you fall at all?
Is it lonely where you are, sleeping in between parked cars?
When it thunders where do you hide from the storm?

Could you ever forgive my self-pity?
When you've got nothing and you're living on the streets of the city.
I couldn't live without my phone... but you don't even have a home.

How did we fall? Can we get up at all?
Are we happy where we are, on our lonely little star?
When it's cold is it your hope that keeps you warm?

Where do they go and what do they do?
They're walking on by. They're looking at you.
They're walking on by. They're looking at you.